Sex after childbirth: keys, times and expectations
The postpartum period is a profoundly transformative stage both physically and emotionally. One of the issues that generates the most doubts and expectations is the resumption of sexual relations after the birth of the baby. When is the right time? What changes can be expected? And what happens if there is no desire? In this article we address all these questions with scientific evidence and an empathetic and realistic view.
When can you have sex again?
There is no "exact date," but practitioners usually recommend waiting at least 4 to 6 weeks after delivery, at which point the uterus has returned to its original size, wounds have healed, and bleeding (lochia) has stopped. According to the Spanish Association of Gynecology and Obstetrics (SEGO), it is important that this reset occurs when the woman feels physically and emotionally ready.
Emotional bonding and communication are key to regaining intimacy after childbirth.
Physical changes after childbirth that can affect sex
The body needs time to recover. Some women experience vaginal dryness due to hormonal changes (especially if they are breastfeeding), which can cause discomfort during penetration. There may also be pain in the perineal area, especially if there was an episiotomy or tears. In cesarean deliveries, abdominal tenderness may persist.
Therefore, it is important to respect the rhythm of the body, use water-based lubricants if necessary, and talk openly with the partner about any discomfort.
"Having sex after childbirth is a unique experience for every woman. The key is to listen to their body and respect their times."
Sexual desire: changes and emotions at play
Many mothers experience a drop in sex drive in the postpartum period, and this is completely normal. Extreme tiredness, breastfeeding, the demands of baby care, and changes in self-image can all play a role. Studies such as the one published in BMJ Open (2021) indicate that about 50% of women report sexual difficulties during the first six months after childbirth
It is essential to understand that desire is not only physical, but also emotional. The connection with the partner, the absence of pressure and good communication favor the intimate reunion.
Keys to resuming intimacy in a healthy way
Resuming sex life can be an opportunity to rediscover yourself as a couple. Some useful recommendations are:
- Talk openly about fears, insecurities, or desires.
- Start with displays of affection, caresses, kisses and massages.
- Don't just focus on penetration – sex is so much more than that.
- Choose moments of calm, without interruptions and without haste.
- Consult with professionals if there is persistent pain or emotional blockages.
And if you don't feel like it?
Not wanting to feel like it is completely valid. The desire can take months to return, and that doesn't mean there's a problem. The key is not to force the situation and avoid feeling guilty. Motherhood implies an internal revolution, and time, rest and self-care help to reconnect with sexuality as well.
When to see a professional
It is recommended to go to the clinic if:
- There is persistent pain during intercourse.
- There is no sexual desire after several months and this generates discomfort.
- There are emotions such as deep sadness, anxiety or disconnection with the partner.
- There are doubts about contraceptive methods in the postpartum period.
Guidance information